Monday, March 31, 2014

Oh the Horror // March

It's been months since I've done a recap post of my favorite horror films from throughout the month for a few reasons. My schedule no longer allows time for endless amounts of movie watching, which sucks, but honestly it's mostly because I've been on a major TV show kick lately. Like really major. When I do find the time to stream some mindless entertainment, I've been taking advantage of the great shows Netflix has to offer rather than movies (The Office, The X Files and Lost, mostly). Plus there's been current seasons of The Walking Dead and The Following to keep up with, and you know, priorities.

However, that doesn't mean my love of guts and gore is gone by any stretch of the imagination, and for the past few weeks I've really tried to squeeze in at least one new (to me) horror movie per week. My hiatus from horror land has played out pretty perfectly, as I was actually able to find tons of movies I haven't seen for the first time in years. Zing! So yeah. Here's this month's favorites, you creeps.

We Are What We Are (2013)

I'm a sucker for movies about cannibalistic clans, so We Are What We Are naturally caught my attention when I browsing through the horror tag on Netflix. A remake of Mexico's Somos lo que hay, We Are What We Are is a beautiful and creepy (though at times slow paced) story about a crazy patriarch who will go to any extreme to preserve and protect his family's ancient cannibalistic customs. His two daughters are forced to play along while a raging rainstorm starts washing up all the evidence of their family crimes, and a pesky town coroner starts digging a little too deep to solve the mystery of his daughter's disappearance. 

The acting in this movie was pretty top notch, though most of the film played out more like a drama than a traditional horror film. The build up is a little slow, but it's well worth the wait when the story finally reaches its climax at the end. If you have an evening to kill and are a fan of dark, independent flicks, I highly recommend giving this one a try. 

Contracted (2013)

Contracted made me imagine feeling lots of terrible things (maggots, mostly) in places I never, ever want to feel them. After a one night stand being roofied and raped at a party (sorry IMDB, your synopsis is inaccurate and sucks), Sam (Najarra Townsend) develops a strange ailment that at first appears to be a strange STD, but turns out to be something much more sinister. This movie was disgusting and uncomfortable, the makeup and special effects were incredible and it was mildly entertaining to watch a pretty girl rot away until she looked like a walking anti meth billboard over the course of a few hours while I was house sitting this week. 

That said, the ick factor was really the only thing this movie had going for it, as the writing was pretty terrible and I swear Eric England went out of his way to create some of the most idiotic characters in the history of the body horror subgenre. SPOILER ALERT: Seriously, if you watch this you'll spend half the movie yelling at the screen and trying to figure out why everyone seems so fucking nonchalant about their friend/girlfriend/daughter's face rotting off while her fingernails are falling out. You'll question how a gynecologist manages to stay in practice whilst never performing a pelvic examination, and you'll wonder what kind of weird alternate reality this film takes place in where the CDC and quarantines apparently don't exist. Most of all though, you'll probably hate the ending. I did. 

Alyce Kills (2011)

Of all the films I watched this month, Alyce Kills was easily my favorite. Honestly, I'm not sure how this tale of fatal friendship and drug-driven insanity flew under my radar for so long. After accidentally pushing her best friend off a roof, Alyce flies into a rampage of sex and murder, sleeping with skeevy drug dealers and killing seemingly anyone who gets in her path.

The cinematography was probably my favorite aspect of Alyce Kills, and the visuals helped keep the story interesting during some of the duller parts. This review of the film on Blood Sprayer really sums things up better than I can, so I'll just leave you with that.

Devil's Pass (2013)

The Dyatlov Pass Incident is quite possibly the creepiest mysterious accident to occur in modern history. It's a stranger than fiction story that quite literally sounds like it was ripped straight from a horror movie (don't believe me? Click that link) so I suppose it was only a mater of time until it was used as source material for, you know, a horror movie. That horror movie is Devil's Pass, a found footage style film that follows a group of college students as they retrace the steps of the ill fated skiers while making a documentary on the infamous "Mountain of the Dead."

This movie made the list because I loved it! And by "loved it," I of course mean "loved to hate it." I'm confused about how a film with such excellent source material could suck so badly. I spent most of the movie reblogging GIFS of Giuseppe Andrews on Tumblr because no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get into it. And then SPOILER ALERT teleporting mutants suddenly showed up and the already shit film somehow fell to even further shit, and that's pretty much when I gave up and turned it off. Bummer.


  1. Yeah, aside from "We are what we are" I didn't like the others. Although, I haven't seen "The Contracted" yet. So I may hold some hope out for that one. Even though your review didn't sound too positive (laugh). I'll have to check it out myself and see how I like/dislike it. "Devil's Pass" and "Alyce Kills" were terrible IMO.

  2. I just watched Contracted last week. Thank you for rewriting that review, yeah after I watched it I was like uh she was raped...I really liked this type of zombie movie, the way they focused on more of the steps of becoming a zombie and how much slower it is than in other zombie movies where people are bitten and in a few hours they're trying to eat people. It reallllly grossed me out though. Mainly those maggots in her lady parts.
    Man, as I was reading your review of the Devil's Pass I was excited, until I got to the end haha. That sucks that the movie is awful, the story seems super interesting and now I'm going to read about the actual incident.


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